OK... As I am enough of a geezer to remember these glorious clips from such sources as WPHL-17's "Video Rock" and ABC-TV's "Friday Night Videos," I will give you my thoughts on each - from then, without the benefit of hindsight, of from rose-colored glasses, because I was still waiting for them to come in. After all, the comic book said it would take 6-8 weeks for them to arrive. Oh, right - the link is here:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/therecord/2011/10/28/141798852/8-completely-embarrassing-music-videos
1) Hall & Oates, "Adult Education": Not sure what's going on here. What does Oates do? To go by this video, J. Oates : D. Hall :: A. Ridgeley : G. Michael. Are they a couple? (In the early 80's, that mustache usually indicated homosexuality - and the album cover for "H2O," where they are all sweaty and their faces are inches away from each other, certainly skewed things that way.)
2) Loverboy, "Hot Girls In Love": My (three years older) sister loved these guys. She had a poster of Mike Reno on her bedroom wall. Me, I'm still puzzled. I had no feelings about them whatsoever then, and little has changed. Is a bandanna really a trademark?
3) Scandal, "The Warrior": Don't remember the video at all, but I definitely remember the song. They later became "Patty Smyth and Scandal." Radio DJ's always made sure to tell you it was Patty SMYTH and not Patti SMITH. Did anyone really confuse the two?
4) Toto, "Hydra": I have never heard/seen this song before. According to Toto guitarist Steve Lukather, "We spent millions on shitty videos, and they'd never get shown. It's like, 'Why don't I just take $50,000 into the backyard and light it on fire?'" Go fuck yerself, Steve. Your videos for "Rosanna" and "Africa" were EVERYWHERE. Sorry you spent all the money on coke. Also, two mediocre keyboardists do not add up to one good one - just ask the early-90's Grateful Dead.
5) Stevie Nicks, "Stand Back", with - what would be it be, actor's? singer's? unwitting participant's commentary?: "We were young" = "We were out of our minds on cocaine and who knows what else." Her manager was right. I have no further comment, your honor.
6) Run-DMC - "Rock Box": I am really tired of this "it wasn't our idea!" crap. You made your bed, now lie in it. This one could have been much worse, but probably not better. Why did every guitar player make those constipated faces in 1984? What was the purpose of pretending that the only folks at a Run-DMC show - which was, apparently, happening at a CBGB's near you - be white? (Hey - franchising ahead of its time!) As far as songs go - leaving video aside - this is my favorite on the list so far.
7) Journey, "Separate Ways": Oh, here we go again. Keyboardist says they're "anti-video," but a video exists nonetheless. Glad to see Steve Perry shopped at Chess King. Bass player is working the porn-star (or over-21 underage-date-rapist with weed, booze and van) look, and you gotta dig the keyboard player's Viv Savage-esque decision to mount his keyboard on the wall. I don't hate this song, primarily because the older, cute, denim-jacket clad, maybe-stoner girls at my high school all seemed to love this band. They never gave me the time of day, but their hair was feathered immaculately, and they sure looked cute in jeans. What was I talking about again?'
8) Heart, "Never": Hey Nancy, per your comments, I do not mean to take anything away from your rack - I have always enjoyed viewing it, and I'll forgive you for that whole Cameron Crowe thing, and I doubt I would have been able to sit through the "These Dreams" video without it even once - but it was the focus not just because it was nice but also because your, uh, directors took every means necessary to hide the fact that your sister was overweight. Take comfort in the realization that your 80's look has "inspired" Taylor Swift in every conceivable way. Oh, the song? It ain't much.
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